Seeking happiness and contentment

It took a pandemic to make me realise that I am enough. Yes, the me that I am today is more than enough, I don’t need to be anything more. I discovered that I don’t need to wear make-up and wash my hair every day (yes, I used to wash it every day - how ridiculous was that) and my pared back wardrobe was more than enough too. 

I’d been decluttering for several years, even before the pandemic hit. Around 6 years ago I gave myself the challenge of not buying anything new. The only clothing I purchased up until recently, was a few new pairs of socks and underwear, everything else in my wardrobe was still going strong so I didn’t ‘need’ to buy more. Admittedly, over the past 12 months I really have needed to make a few purchases. All the jeans that I can actually get on (not necessarily comfortably) had holes in them and I’m afraid some of my clothes simply can’t keep up with an ageing waistline  - buying some new jeans was a needs must moment!

It’s funny though, when you get out of the habit of doing something, it almost becomes a luxury. I now feel a bit indulgent if I think about buying myself any new clothes, even if it’s an item that might be deemed as necessary.
My son gave me a voucher for my birthday, for a shop that I used to like buying my clothes from. I used it to buy some new jeans and I love them. They aren’t the usual style that I used to buy, they fit my new style body, the one that’s changed shape due to age and menopause and the one that now doesn’t fit into all the old jeans in my wardrobe. 
I also got a pair of fabulous Lucy and Yak dungarees from my daughter for my birthday. If you’re a fan of Mama Mia, you’ll get the dungarees thing. They are comfy and practical - what more do you need.

It’s too easy to buy cheap and cheerful and we have far too much choice. Going forward I’m planning on only buying clothes when I know it’s something I really need and the items I’ll buy are going to last. All the items in my current wardrobe are things that I’ve worn over and over again and some of them are items I’ve been given when friends have been decluttering, they are my classics. They may not be ‘classics’ in the true sense of the word, but they are mine. 

The ‘enough me’ has also learnt to appreciate that I have skills that others don’t and I am more than capable of producing beautiful, practical and useful products. My craft work has been my savour over the past few years and I’ve spent a lot of time honing those skills, picking up new idea, learning new techniques and discovering stitches that excite me. I’d like to think that my products might become someone’s classic item one day; that bag, top or wallhanging that becomes part of their story. 

Understanding what enough is can be a light bulb moment. Believing that you are enough is a tough thing to come to grips with. There are always moments of doubt that creep in, but when I have those moments I remind myself of what I have achieved, despite others not believing in me or be willing to offer me emotional support. 

Acknowledging that we are enough doesn’t mean we have to stop enjoying new experiences or learning new skills. Being enough is all about embracing life and sometimes realising when our enough could do with a boost, to stop us getting bored if nothing else. It’s about what we need to help us stabilise contentment, not what others expect of us. We shouldn’t measure our 'enough' against someone else’s. It’s a very unique thing, it belongs to you.